Had a very hard time falling asleep last night and when I finally did I dreamt about my handsome husband all night. Each time I would wake up I would force myself to go back to sleep so I could be with him for just a few more minutes. Then, as always, I open my eyes, and the realization that he's not here is too much for me to bear. I feel an emptiness in my heart all day and night until I go back to sleep.
I try to keep myself busy by working most of the day (after all, the bills don't pay themselves), but the second I stop working it all comes crashing down on me. I tried smoking for the past month, that always used to calm me down when I was younger. It didn't help, so I gave it up a week ago. I tried having half a glass of wine before bed thinking it would make me tired, but all it did was add to my sorrow. I just don't know how I'm going to make it through the rest of my life without him. I can't even wrap my mind around that concept. He was all I had in this world and now he's gone.
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